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Love Joke of the week

Married life is full of excitement :
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

 

Love Poem Of the Week

O Mistress Mine
by William Shakespeare

O Mistress mine, where are you roaming?
O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,
That can sing both high and low:
Trip no further, pretty sweeting;
Journeys end in lovers meeting,
Every wise man's son doth know.

What is love? 'Tis not hereafter;
Present mirth hath present laughter;
What's to come is still unsure:
In delay there lies not plenty;
Then, come kiss me, sweet and twenty,
Youth's a stuff will not endure.

Peaches: When you say the word peaches, your lips come together for less than a second. Imagine saying this when you kiss - it happens very quickly.

Prunes: Described as such because the movement of the lips during this kiss roughly approximates that caused by uttering the word prunes. It's Longer than a peaches kiss.

Alfalfa: Hold your tongue with your fingers and try to say alfalfa - you can't do it. Nor can you perform the alfalfa kiss without using the tongue.

Glass: This kiss is most commonly used when you are separated by a pane of glass. Oftentimes you are in a hurry and can't roll down the car window, or the sliding door is shut and you don't want to let the cold air in the house. If you are participating in a glass kiss and the other person pulls away to see your pressed lips, blow air into the window and make your checks swell.

Underwater : Remember wondering what it would be like to kiss underwater?
Then you convinced your neighbor to try it with you in the pool, you found out it was no big deal: you can't feel their lips very well, the chlorine hurts your eyes, and you swallow water on your way to the surface. It may be more interesting if you fill the pool with Jell-O.

Noisy: A kiss that makes noise is not unusual, it's just noisy - which means at times can be considered rude.

Thrown: Not too common anymore. Seen mostly in parades and silent movies. Can be traumatic if you don't warm up your arm.

Blown: Similar to the thrown kiss, but used at close range or when a thrown kiss might be intercepted.

Hand: This kiss is another member of the thrown-kiss fairly. The only difference is that after the kiss is placed in the hand, it is personally delivered and applied to the other person's face. Although more accurate than either the thrown or blown kiss, it can be hazardous if delivered with a slap.

Dark: Kissing in the dark is a problem for those with bad sense of direction - they end up kissing the ear. One way to alleviate this problem is to locate your date's nose, grip it tightly to use as a reference point, and kiss below the hand.

Grandma Bunny: These are the types kisses you get from older relatives. "Bunny" refers to the soft white hair grandmothers have above their lips, which they often moisten before kissing.

Source : Kiss4Kiss

 

 

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